A Disaster

A friend mentioned today that this was the disastrous year of his life... I knew certain events which took place in this person's life this year which I found the most beautiful!! I exclaimed- what???!! N he tried to correct by saying professionally. But the overall impression of this year that came spontaneously was DISASTROUS!!!

I remembered the days when I was a machine. I used to lock myself in a room when I was in home and in my house while in Tg, for days together... I read a lot during that period.. I did not talk much to my family. I did not sit and chat with my granny who had come to stay with me at Tg, who cooked for me with love, who cared... I never told her how much did I love her, how close she was to me... I did not find it necessary. Expressing love openly wasn't my nature then... I was engrossed in the world of books and one fine day, all of a sudden, I found her dead at midnight! She had gone without notification-without any kind of illness! I was shocked... I cursed myself for not talking to her, not spending enough time with her, not telling her that I loved her and she would always remain in my mind!!

Then one Monday morning, my dad dropped me at station. It was 5 am and we both were silent throughout my journey to station. My surgery posting was going on and I was thinking of a patient who was on deathbed and whom I was looking after. While getting down from car, saying bye to dad, intuitively I realized that I did not talk to him at all!! And in past many days I had not talked to him the way I should have.. I had so many things to tell him in leisure.. And the immediate afterthought was- I will talk to him all that anyway.. Gran was old, he is not... He is going to be with me for atleast next 20 years... And believe me these were the exact thoughts which came to my mind that time in the same sequence.

On Thursday, dad got admitted with Pneumonia, by the time I reached he was intubated and sedated. I told him in his ears in ICU that I loved him and I would take care of everything and he might rest in peace. I do not know whether he could interpret.
Finally fifteen days later, when I was performing the last rituals, and priest was explaining me the meanings of the rituals I was performing, I was constantly thinking that I lost it once again. I lost two people, one by one within two years, who were extremely close, and whom I loved the best, and I lost the opportunity to tell them how much did they mean to me for ever.


While saying the year was an ABSOLUTE DISASTER someone might get hurt, few beautiful moments might go unnoticed and if my friend realizes its importance the way I realized, it would be hard perhaps!! Perhaps...!!!