आत्मवान!

In the very beginning of 2nd chapter of Geeta, Krishna says-

अशोच्यानन्व शोचस्त्वं प्रदन्यावाद्स्च्य भाषसे....

You think and dream all those things about which you are NOT supposed to think at all. And on the top of it, you speak philosophies... ( How ridiculous it is...)

many times I feel that this is for me. I was doing internship when I realize this first. I just flipped few pages of Jyaneshwari and my eyes got fixed on a line-

क्षुद्रं ह्रदयदौर्बल्यम त्यक्तोस्त्तिष्ठ परंतप!

This was my first introduction to 2nd chapter.

Leave all the doubts- which show how weak your mind is- make your mind strong- don't think whether you will be able to complete the task you wish to undertake and GET UP.

Get up as a new person. throw the old skin away and shine with new rustling beauty of mind and soul, like snake.

That was the time when I had many doubts about life; what to do and where to start... This was the best guide. If you wish to do something, do not START WITH DOUBT whether you will be able to. Yes, one must give it a rational thought; but with all the positivity and realism he possesses and not with the defeated mind! Trust your abilities and know yourself.

तुझिया नामे अपयशी दिशा लंघिजे!

Your name makes failure run away!

I feel this not for ONLY Arjuna. We all are Arjun at some or the other time in life. Go through his Arjuna's words in 1st chapter-

सीदन्ति मम गात्राणि मुखं च परितुश्यति!

वेपथुश्च्य शरीरे मे रोमहर्षश्च जायते!

गान्दीवं संस्रते हस्तान.....

With sympathetic system all active, my organs are shaking, mouth is dry, weapon is shaking in hand.... imagine a surgeon entering OT for the first time all alone... or a team of surgeons operating on a high risk patient and some unknown, uncontrolled bleeder starts pouring blood, patients BP starts falling, anesthetist demands urgent closure and bleeder is still invisible... haha... I think situation will be almost same perhaps, though of course it will not help at all- rather make the situation even more difficult!

Most of the times, we, atleast i know, what is right in certain situation. But I do what I want to, which I know is WRONG, like a patient suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder. At a golden moment, like this moment today, i realize completely that I must CONTROL my mad mind. I must try not to listen to it but I must make it listen to me.

Here comes Geeta in application:

He says,

सुख दुख्खे समे कृत्वा लाभालाभौ जयाजयौ,

ततो युद्धाय युज्यस्व नैवं पापं अवाप्स्यसि

Fight! Leave thoughts of victory and defeat, loss and gain, happiness and sorrows... FIGHT.

Thoughts cloud mind. They DO NOT lead to success, they waste time and and promise nothing but more chances to lose!

FIGHT is the golden word. COME OVER, SUCCEED... but DONT DREAM OF SUCCESS too!! It is a binder, which hinders progress!!

त्रैगुणयविषयावेदा निस्त्रैगुण्यो भवार्जुन!

After knowing Vedas, which are filled with three gunas- characters- satva, raj and tam,

You be without any of those three!

निर्द्वन्द्वो नित्यसत्वस्थो निर्योगक्षेम आत्मवान!

Overcome all the internal fights; be attached to sat, to that which is TRUE, do not engage yourself in yog kshem- efforts to uplift self in material world- and be आत्मवान! This is one of the best words used by krishna! Be aatmavaan- everyone will interpret it differently. Be yourself- be content within yourself. Be involved in yourself, be happy with yourself. Be content!!

And now I feel how fool I was to run behind all those things which are most uncertain!!!!!!

Though this realization is going to be temporary as usual, I realize that... which is better at least!!